you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Randomize
