she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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