He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
