yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize