Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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