Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
