He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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