i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
