this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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