yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
