Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Are we still banned from the library?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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