yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize