mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize