if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I have feelings that need drinking.
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