man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Randomize
