I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I just googled if crying burns calories
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Randomize
