i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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