You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
