It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
