i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
