so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
It's shark week go big or go home
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
