so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize