I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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