you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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