who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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