So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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