I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
