she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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