we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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