it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
