its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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