I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Randomize
