At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
