i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
