dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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