She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
