i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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