office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
