Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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