I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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