hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
