I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
