I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
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