I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
