he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
