my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
