I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
