i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
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