How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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