Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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