I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
