ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
