Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
