well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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