Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
