you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
