I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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