Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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