I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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