I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
