Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
So many bounce houses so little time
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Randomize
