I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
My ass is underappreciated
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
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