Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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