My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
