Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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