I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I just googled if crying burns calories
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Text me some of your sweat
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