Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
