I must be too annoying 4 u.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
