can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
