am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
you win again, gameday.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
