**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
